With Tumblr recently experiencing a 24-hour offline stint and a reported single 9 of service reliability, there are plenty of jokes about the microblogging service’s infamous downtime (most I’ve heard have at least a tenuous WikiLeaks connection).
Here’s the most elaborate Tumblr satire piece yet: Go to http://wellbebackshortly.com/ and hit refresh. Hit refresh again, and again.
Created by Adam Hemphill, the site is a riff on the Tumblr “We’ll Be Back Shortly” page and generates over a hundred hypothetical excuses as to why Tumblr is down so Tumblr doesn’t have to. (Tumblr is currently UP, at the moment.)
Some of the best:
“Does anyone know how to fix a “database cluster”? #lazyweb”
“Cocaine is a hell of a drug”
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This Week Only: Buy one pass, get the second at 50% off
Your next round. Your next hire. Your next breakout opportunity. Find it at TechCrunch Disrupt 2026, where 10,000+ founders, investors, and tech leaders gather for three days of 250+ tactical sessions, powerful introductions, and market-defining innovation. Register before May 8 to bring a +1 at half the cost.
“Squirrels”
“We’re a free service. Goddamn.”
“Did we mention we re-hired Jakob Lodwick this weekend?”
“The rent is too damn high”
“I am away from my computer right now.”
“Eduardo froze the accounts”
Oh hell, every single one of these is good. See for yourself.
Squirrel teaser image: Buzzfeed
